Reflections from my conversation on the Divorce Diaries podcast
Divorce changes you. Whether you’re the one asking for it or the one it’s happening to, it requires you to shift how you think, how you relate to yourself, and what you believe is possible. When you understand that divorce isn’t just a legal process, it becomes easier to move forward with intention. I recently joined Cary Jacobson on her podcast Divorce Diaries to talk about the deeper layers of divorce most people don’t consider. We covered a lot, including how divorce isn’t just about surviving the process. It’s about navigating it in a way that leaves you clear, grounded, and able to trust yourself through every decision that comes next. Because divorce isn’t just a legal process. It’s an identity shift. And how you move through it matters.When the Fear of the Unknown Feels Safer Than Change
Divorce is uncomfortable. Even thinking about leaving your marriage can cause panic.
What if I make the wrong decision?
What if my kids aren’t okay?
What if I hurt the people I love?
What if I have to sell the house?
Fear of making the wrong move, regretting your choices, and being judged for wanting more will keep you stuck in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage.
Cary and I discussed how fear of the unknown will pull you back into what’s familiar, even if that familiarity is deeply uncomfortable. The nervous system doesn’t care whether your current reality is good or bad. It only cares that you are safe. Safe equals same. Safe equals familiar. That’s why so many women second-guess themselves, freeze, or start to wonder if staying is “easier,” even when they know it’s not aligned.
Your System Needs to Feel Safe Before You Can Think Clearly
This is why calming the nervous system is central to the work I do.
You can have the best legal team, the clearest financial plan, but if your system is flooded or frozen, your decision-making gets hijacked. You rush, you avoid, or you give up too much just to make it end. Creating internal safety changes everything. Because when your system feels safe, your mind gets quieter. And when your mind gets quieter, you can finally hear what you already know.
Reclaiming Power Through Radical Responsibility
Cary and I also talked about what it means to take radical personal responsibility for your choices; not in a self-blaming way, but as a way to reclaim your power. This isn’t about pretending you’re fine or pushing past your emotions. It’s about recognizing that no one else can make these decisions for you. Not your lawyer, your therapist, or even your coach. You can gather advice, ask questions, explore your options, but ultimately you’re the one living with the outcome. And owning that truth without shame is how you maintain your power.
Staying for the Kids: The Myth That Keeps You Stuck
And then there’s the question so many women wrestle with:
Should I stay for the kids?
It’s an emotionally loaded question, and Cary and I discuss why it’s often the wrong one to be asking.
Because your kids know something is off, even if they don’t fully understand it. They feel the tension, no matter how good the performance. And sometimes, staying sends a louder message than leaving ever could.
This doesn’t mean divorce is easy. It isn’t. Even if you’re the one initiating it, there’s grief. There’s doubt. There’s a mourning process that has to occur. But there’s also possibility.
A Different Way to Navigate Divorce
The LIBERATED Method™ is designed to help women navigate life transitions with clarity and confidence and discover what is possible. It’s a blend of emotional regulation, somatic practices, and thought work. It’s about helping you feel steady so you can make decisions you won’t look back on with regret.
If you’re questioning your marriage, or already in the middle of a divorce, and you want to understand your options, this episode will give you a window into what it looks like to move through the process with support, intention, and self-trust.
Ready for Clarity?
And if what you hear resonates, I invite you to take the next step.
A Clarity Call is a supportive conversation designed to help you see what’s keeping you stuck, what you want for your future, and whether working together is the right fit.
Explore some of Sharri’s other podcast guest appearances:
